So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
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He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize