all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
