I skipped work to stalk him.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
