were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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