Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
