I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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