I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
