And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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