this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
