i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
