As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
