Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
