I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
