He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you win again, gameday.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
