Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
