my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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