This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
