Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
