the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
organizing the empties. That sober.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
