Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
