There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
