dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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