Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
