So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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