opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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