Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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