I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
