and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
