What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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