it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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