The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
