Fuck appropriateness.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
