just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
