Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
