The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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