Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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