i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
