there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
