There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
