I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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