on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I could fuck to npr.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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