even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So. Much. Porn.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
