I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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