i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
