Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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