you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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