glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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