I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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