Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
