You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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