I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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