gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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