im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
