wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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