Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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