dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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