how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
