you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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