I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
