K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
