no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
