yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed