1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on