you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner