my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
