Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
