fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
