she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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