You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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