Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
