She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
