It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
